Dennis C. Brown - Two and a Half Men

Two and a Half Men - Main Cast

Two and a Half Men

Two and a Half Men

Mein cooler Onkel Charlie

2003 - 2015

Number of episodes:
262 Episodes in 12 Seasons

A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.

Dennis C. Brown - Musik in Two and a Half Men
All Two and a Half Men Episodes with Dennis C. Brown


177 Episodes (2003-2011)

from Episode: 1.01 - Pilot

Staffel 1 - Alle Folgen mit Dennis C. Brown


After 12 years of marriage, his wife Judith, kicks Alan out. He turns to his older brother Charlie for help. Charlie has trouble adjusting his carefree lifestyle with the presence of his 10 year old nephew.

Big Flappy Bastards

Alan punishes Jake for an incident at Judith's house. Charlie is lax in enforcing Alan's restrictions, then some seagulls invade Charlie's house as a result of Jake's actions, Charlie has to learn how to discipline his nephew.

Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell

Charlie and Alan go out drinking. Alan tries to reconcile with his wife, after that fails. They decide to confront the root of their issues, their mother.

If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap

As Charlie tries to write a new jingle, Berta quits. Alan tries to convince her to come back. Leaving Charlie to get Jake ready for a dinner. And Rose tries to get Charlie's help to prepare for a date.

The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump

Jake's soccer games lead to Alan and Charlie having encounters with teammates' sexy mothers.

Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?

Charlie and Evelyn date members of the same family.

If They Do Go Either Way They're Usually Fake

Jake sees a butterfly tattoo on the firm bottom of a surfer-chick friend of Charlie's, which is the start a string of harmless events that become larger and more disastrous with each action. This is not unlike the famous chaos theory's Butterfly Effect, asking if the flap of a butterfly's wing in Brazil, could set off a tornado in Texas.

Twenty-five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful

After being tricked into helping Alan and Judith produce Jake's classroom musical, Charlie is flattered to find out that the kids know all the words to his jingles. Alan is blind-sided with divorce papers from Judith, causing strife which results in Charlie, who refuses to deal with the pre-pubers without a snootful, having to produce the play on his own. Jake is crushed when he realizes that a reconciliation between his parents may never happen.

Phase One, Complete

Charlie wants to dump a female friend to whom Jake has grown attached. Alan and Rose bond over a game of Scrabble.

Merry Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving winds up being the least thankful day of the year for Charlie, who has to bribe various members of his household to even come to a traditional turkey dinner. Not only are the usual feuds in evidence (leading to a turkey-carving right out of "Psycho") but Judith's parents are actually sympathetic to Alan and hostile to their own daughter for her "fling" with lesbianism.

Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

Seeing Judith's new look and boyfriend prompts Alan to realize that if he wants to get back into the dating scene, he will need to change his look also.

Camel Filters and Pheremones

Berta brings her 16 year old granddaughter to work. She poses issues for the men.

Sarah Like Puny Alan

Charlie tries to nurse Alan back from the flu because he needs him for a double date with sisters.

I Can't Afford Hyenas

Charlie's accountant Stan tries to make Charlie understand his desperate financial situation.

Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick

Charlie falls for a seemingly crazy woman named Frankie--against Alan's advice.

That Was Saliva, Alan

Now Frankie has tricked the Harpers into taking her and her daughter Joanie in, she explains that Bob's parents want her declared mentally incompetent in order to get custody. Charlie wants to dump her, but Alan insists on taking them both in. Jake doesn't enjoy the 8 year old's 'romantic' attention. Charlie hates the consolation kisses and compliments, and is stunned when Frankie prefers intimacy with Alan. Charlie rightly warns him he's just falling for his 'damsel in distress', but warns her not to hurt his kid brother.

Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats

Charlie is offended when Alan chooses his married, responsible cousins as Jake's guardians.

An Old Flame with a New Wick

Charlie's old flame, Jill, comes for a visit, she had an operation and is now called "Bill." Then Evelyn starts dating Bill.

I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You

Judith's sister Liz comes for a visit.

Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark

Jake verbringt das Wochenende bei seinem Vater Alan. Doch was ein harmonischer Tag werden sollte, wird zum Desaster, denn Jakes ständige schlechte Laune geht Alan und Charlie mächtig auf die Nerven. Die beiden versuchen den Grund für Jakes seltsames Benehmen herauszufinden, bleiben aber erfolglos. Die letzte Hoffnung ist der Termin bei einer Kinderpsychologin. Als alle Bemühungen scheitern, hat Haushälterin Berta eine verblüffende Idee.

No Sniffing, No Wowing

After Charlie is given a witness interview by Alan's expensive, power-hungry divorce lawyer, Laura, she sets her sights on him, but warns him that it must be kept a secret, giving him strict ground rules to follow. Unaware of what is going on, Alan is feeling somewhat confident about the possibility of a fair custody/settlement agreement, despite Judith's concerns about Jake living at Uncle Charlie's house on weekends. When Charlie brings home Laura's paralegal to play, and Laura catches them together, Charlie finds her reaction to the situation unacceptable. Alan in dumbfounded when his lawyer tanks his case.

My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet

Alan has consented to pay for Jake's appointment at the child psychologist, self-confessed mere guesser Dr. Freeman. Charlie finds that Alan is the one who sleepwalks and performing domestic chores, and hears from ma Evelyn it had happened before - from their dad's death till Alan's sexual awaking. Arranging a sex-life for Alan fails as he refuses one night-stands, so Charlie finally drags Alan to the child psychologist, and ends up as a stand in for Judith.

Just Like Buffalo

Jake repeats something Charlie says to Judith. Then Judith refuses to let Alan take Jake for the weekend. Alan tries to talk to Judith, but encounters resistance from Judith and her friends. It's up to Charlie to set things right.

Can You Feel My Finger

Charlie is sure he isn't ready for fatherhood after a year of trying to raise Jake, so he opts to have a vasectomy. But when the doctor performing the procedure keeps getting calls from his wife -- who's about to give birth -- Charlie starts to think about what fatherhood might entail and likes the idea, provided he still has his vital organs intact (in more ways than one).

Staffel 2 - Alle Folgen mit Dennis C. Brown

Back Off Mary Poppins

Charlie is having some friends coming over to his house to have a gathering but Alan is not invited. Things got worse when Alan is also not invited to Judith's party even though her guests are Alan's friends.

Enjoy Those Garlic Balls

Alan is hurt after finding out Judith is seeing Jake's pediatrician. Meanwhile, Evelyn tries to find out why Charlie hates her.

A Bag Full of Jawea

After Jake flips off his teacher, Alan and Judith move to punish him. Charlie, meanwhile, has other plans for Jake's teacher. Chaos ensues when Jake discovers the relationship and the increasingly overbearing Miss Pasternak tells Charlie she believes God brought them together.

Go Get Mommy's Bra

After Charlie reluctantly lends Evelyn his new car, he later discovers her bra in the back seat. Meanwhile, Alan is forced to compensate after Jake gets attached to Judith's rich and talented boyfriend.

Bad News from the Clinic

Charlie is dating a self-assured woman who plays hard to get, easily dismisses him, and he finds it disarming. Rose gets Charlie to see that his new lady-friend, Sherry, is in his head because she is just like him; a self-centered, manipulative, narcissist. Charlie debates breaking it off. Alan and Jake fiercely battle wills over Jake doing his homework.

The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance

After confessing responsibility for a childhood shoplifting incident blamed on Alan, Charlie seeks the forgiveness of his now infuriated brother.

A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana

Evelyn announces she is receiving an honor from the real estate industry and that Charlie and Alan will host a party in her honor. Mayhem ensues when Berta and her sister agree to cater the event, but sibling rivalry takes center stage.

Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers

Alan gets carried away with a woman he met at the supermarket, and it's up to Charlie to talk some sense into him while shielding Jake and Judith from what's going on.

Yes, Monsignor

Charlie runs into a newly-divorced ex, now single mom, who's willing to give him another shot. Back home, Jake tries to diagnose his learning problems.

The Salmon Under My Sweater

Charlie struggles to write a jingle for a new cartoon. Meanwhile, Alan spends time with Rose, and Jake procrastinates doing a book report.

Last Chance to See Those Tattoos

Charlie sets out to find who started a derogatory web site about him. Meanwhile, Alan overhears something he shouldn't on Jake's webcam.

A Lung Full of Alan

An old classmate is in town while Charlie and Alan spar over whom she likes more.

Zejdz Zmoich Wlosow

Tensions rise after an earthquake displaces Judith to Charlie's house.

Those Big Pink Things with Coconut

Evelyn's condescending attitude towards Jake's good grades sets Charlie and Alan out for revenge.

Smell the Umbrella Stand

Charlie and Alan's weekend trip to Las Vegas has a little trouble getting off the ground.

Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?

It's the week of hell as Judith's out of town, Alan's got Jake, and nothing seems to be going right.

Woo-Hoo, a Hernia-Exam!

Berta teaches Jake something about cleanliness while Charlie's in pain after a sexual encounter went horribly wrong.

It Was Mame, Mom

Charlie cons Alan into being his date at his gay friend's dinner party. But how long can they keep up the act?

A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise

A freak food-flinging accident leaves Alan with impaired vision, which doesn't bode well especially when he draws a liking to one of Charlie's exs.

I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey

Rose intervenes after Alan and Charlie come to blows over some of their unresolved issues.

A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On

After one of her ex-husbands dies, Evelyn summons Alan, Charlie, and Jake to the funeral, where Charlie takes a keen interest in the widow.

That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother

Alan borrows money from Evelyn to buy a Porsche. However, life doesn't become as glamorous as he expects.

Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab

After finding out that Jake has spent the night at his other grandparents's house, Evelyn insists that Jake spend a night at her place. After convincing Jake to stay at her place, Alan and Charlie worry about how Jake will be affected by his overnight visit.

Does Something Smell Funny to You

Jake recounts his weekend in which Charlie's latest fling is with a woman who turns out to be married to a now very angry old man.

Staffel 3 - Alle Folgen mit Dennis C. Brown

Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts

After Alan falls off the roof, Charlie has to look after the adolescent and increasingly obnoxious Jake for the weekend.

Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover

Alan has to lobby the principal to keep Jake from getting expelled, while Charlie is left to manage the chiropractic office for the day.

Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark

After it's revealed Alan and Judith have been trying to reconcile, Charlie, Evelyn, and Rose vie for the role of spoiler.

Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs

Alan looks for a new place after he invites Berta to stay at Charlie's house, bringing the brothers to blows.

We Called It Mr. Pinky

Charlie's inability to reciprocate his girlfriend's love forces him to examine his relationships with women.

Hi, Mr. Horned One

Charlie's Satan-worshiping girlfriend has a knack for the supernatural, and seems to be the cause of some strange happenings around the Harper house.

Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop

Charlie gets drunk and sleeps with Rose on her birthday. Rose says she knows it's no big deal. But her father quickly shows up at Charlie's house, under the impression that they've been dating for two years.

That Voodoo That I Do Do

Charlie bribes Jake into taking ballet lessons so he can vie for the affections of the teacher. Things go awry, however, when Charlie and Jake find themselves competing for those affections.

Madame and Her Special Friend

Charlie's elderly neighbor has an uncomfortable business proposition for Alan.

Something Salted and Twisted

After Alan goes on a dinner with Jake, Charlie and Evelyn, he becomes fed up with seeking approval from women and decides to quit doing so with a little help from Charlie.

Santa's Village of the Damned

Alan's girlfriend Sandy is Malibu's answer to Martha Stewart, causing Alan and Charlie to pack on the pounds. Their desire for her fabulous culinary output is ultimately overwhelmed by her craziness.

That Special Tug

After a disastrous evening out with his brother, Charlie decides it is time to see a shrink.

Humiliation Is a Visual Medium

Charlie has to decide whether he can really commit to a serious relationship with Mia, especially when sex is currently off the agenda. Unsurprisingly, his suggestion that he sleep with other women in the meantime falls on somewhat stony ground.

Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded

As Charlie tries to receive his version of benefits from the relationship he has with Mia, Alan starts dating Charlie's most recent ex-girlfriend.

My Tongue Is Meat

Forced to hide in his garage to enjoy a brace of beers and half a Cuban cigar, Charlie's attempts to keep his unhealthy lifestyle habits secret from Mia fall apart when she smells bacon on his breath, resulting in their first major argument since taking their relationship to a physical plane.

Ergo, the Booty Call

As Jake's twelfth birthday approaches, Alan is still smiling ear-to-ear over his sex life with 22 year-old hottie Kandi, even when he's forced to explain to his son what a "booty call" is. Meanwhile, Jake celebrates with a sip of coffee and a handful of vitamins - or at least, that's what he assumes the blue pills in his dad's bathroom cabinet are, with the "V" imprinted. Like Berta says, he's going to need another party hat.

The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer

At Alan's insistence and to avoid having to escort the daughter of one of ma's clients (she invited that), Charlie attends with Alan, ma and Jake the jingle awards ceremony, where he's nominated and just knows Archie Baldwin will win for the seventh year in a row, because that pompous ass always gets the sexy products, a good tune for medication like Charlie's clients is never good enough to get a fair chance. He's right, and was forced by Rose -who will otherwise stalk him again- to make her adoring teenage boyfriend Gordon give her some private space again; when that works, she changes her mind...

The Spit-Covered Cobbler

Alan finally has an attractive date, 22 year-old Kandi, but she's even dumber then Jake, and as Charlie rightly points out girls that age are extremely high maintenance. Charlie has his fun seeing Alan struggle with the growing pile of bills, driving him to raid Jake's mammoth piggy bank and taking a second job as pizza deliverer, but still helps his double-plucked brother when wicked ex Judith insists on alimony. Alas Kandi...

Golly Moses, She's a Muffin

The Harpers's world is inverted: Charlie's ex Kandi, of his countless girls about the dumbest, not only became Alan's lover but even says she prefers sex with him, and has been living in Charlie's beach-house, as unnoticed as several furniture changes, for three weeks since she was evicted. Charlie has suffered a sexual drought even longer, by now even Berta and her cousin in prison begin to look somehow attractive. Judith finds out, and is shocked Jake is exposed to such a floozy; despite his brother's warning to keep love and business apart, Alan tries her as secretary in his surgery, with even more and worse results then either could fear...

Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro

Alan is made to admit to Charlie, who keeps hitting it in, he has hit rock-bottom now his brainless girlfriend Kandi has moved in with his ex. It's all so confusing that Jake would prefer dad's ladies to be lesbians, then tells him Kandi's ma Mandi has joined Charlie's endless list of sexual conquests. Alan can't talk to Kandi, she just repeats Judith's phrases, clearly without understanding the words, but he sees her dad, Mandi's ex Andy, arrive on blind date with his own ex Judith. Frolicking finale at Judith's, in rooms, bed and hot-tub...

And the Plot Moistens

Alan turns to Jake's teacher for stimulating conversation, since Kandi obviously can't provide any. But the teacher starts to get the wrong idea about Alan's intentions.

Just Once with Aunt Sophie

Jake has his first boys-girls party, dating a smart girl, Wendy Cho. Alan was looking forward to coaching his son, but even Jake, who spends his schooldays watching the clock tick, isn't dumb enough to consider dating advice from the worst womanizer in L.A., while Charlie proves he can coach a virtually hopeless case -Alan and Judith's genes without the IQ- trough appearance, dance and anything else. In fact Alan envies Jake so much, he still hopes for ...

Arguments for the Quickie

Mia comes back and asks Charlie to donate his sperm. He agrees to, but for some unknown reason he can't deliver.

That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite

Charlie and Mia discover that setting up a wedding with their two crazy families is a disaster, so they decide to get married in Las Vegas.

Staffel 4 - Alle Folgen mit Dennis C. Brown

Working for Caligula

Kandi dumps Alan, which forces him and Jake to move back in with Charlie, who was just getting used to getting his bachelor pad back.

Who's Vod Kanockers

Charlie starts to lose control now that Mia's gone and Alan and Jake are back, and his frustration culminates in a violent confrontation with his new neighbor, Steven Tyler.

The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress

In the middle of a near-death experience, Charlie thinks he hears his father's voice tell him to take care of his mother, who is just about to have a "minor procedure" performed on her.

A Pot Smoking Monkey

Alan wants custody of the dog Chester he shared in his late marriage with Kandi. Meanwhile, Charlie helps Jake with his girlfriend.

A Live Woman of Proven Fertility

When Judith announces she is going to remarry, Charlie and Alan must convince her fiancé to proceed with the nuptials after he displays signs of cold feet, so that Alan can discontinue alimony payments to Judith.

Apologies for the Frivolity

Charlie is the last one to realize that he is dating a younger version of his mother.

Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head

Charlie reluctantly agrees to help Berta as she confronts the man who impregnated her youngest daughter and Alan tells Charlie about a secret fetish.

Release the Dogs

After a bout with insomnia, Alan is escorted home from a midnight run on the beach by the local sheriff's department. Jake fights back when Charlie goes back on his word about not dating his friend's mother.

Corey's Been Dead for an Hour

Charlie finally gets fed up with Alan always weaseling his way out of picking up a bill, and it only gets worse when he discovers Alan's secret stash of money.

Kissing Abraham Lincoln

Charlie's new live-in girlfriend is skating on thin ice with Berta because she threatens Berta's "alpha dog" status, and Kandi lets Alan have sex with her again so that he won't sell the condo.

Walnuts and Demerol

Charlie's quest to get laid on Christmas Eve threatens to fall apart when everybody shows up at his house and refuses to leave.

Castrating Sheep in Montana

Alan is seeing Berta's daughter behind everyone's back. But when Berta finds out, Alan is shocked and a little disturbed by her positive response.

Don't Worry, Speed Racer

Repressed memories come back to the surface for Charlie after Jake talks about hearing his mom having sex.

That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami

Charlie tries to set up Alan with the sexy and rich new next-door neighbor who is looking to settle down. But when Charlie discovers her secret history as a drunken slut, he decides to go after her himself.

My Damn Stalker

Alan takes a stab at online dating, and Rose tells Charlie that she's moving away.

Young People Have Phlegm Too

Charlie tries to convince himself and Alan that he's not too old to be part of the wild, young party crowd.

I Merely Slept with a Commie

After Charlie and Alan tell their mom that nobody loves her enough to attend her funeral, she replaces them with a new family, which makes both of them very jealous.

It Never Rains in Hooterville

Alan feels the pangs of fatherhood disappearing as Jake grows, and contemplates his future with Kandi, who is contemplating on a new career move.

Smooth as a Ken Doll

Alan thinks he's making his last alimony payment to Judith, but Judith's future sister-in-law could be putting the wedding in jeopardy. And things only get worse when she hooks up with Charlie.

Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot

Alan sees nothing but troubles in his future as Charlie's relationship with Judith's future sister-in-law blossoms.

Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous

Everyone suspects that Alan may be coming out of the closet when he becomes good friends with a gay man. But Charlie is actually the one who is suddenly feeling insecure about his sexuality.

Mr. McGlue's Feedbag

When Alan has to go renew his driver's license, he convinces Charlie to help Jake with book report. But when Charlie takes Jake to the track, instead, Jake's horse comes in.

Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-lookin

Charlie hires a handyman to fix his deck, then begins to feel threatened when all the women in his life flock to the new guy.

Prostitutes and Gelato

In an effort to bond with Alan and Charlie, Evelyn's new boyfriend invites them on a trip to Vegas with all the frills.

Staffel 5 - Alle Folgen mit Dennis C. Brown

Large Birds, Spiders and Mom

Jake is ready to begin junior high school, until Alan scares him by telling him about all of the horrors that he experienced. Meanwhile, Charlie has a rash in a most inopportune area.

Media Room Slash Dungeon

Charlie and his mom temporarily become friends until Charlie takes an interest in one of her married clients, and Alan goes to bed with a woman who has self-esteem issues.

Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo

Charlie humors Alan by going on a date with a woman his own age instead of a young bimbo. But when the woman rejects him after the first date, he becomes obsessed with seeing her again.

City of Great Racks

Charlie is getting serious with Linda. But lately he seems to be seeing his ex-stalker, Rose. Has she returned from England, or is it his imagination?

Putting Swim Fins on a Cat

Charlie hasn't had a paying gig for months, so Alan becomes part of a drug study to make extra money. Meanwhile, Charlie tries to bond with Linda's four-year-old son.

Help Daddy Find His Toenail

A medication mix-up causes Charlie to humiliate Linda at an important dinner, and Jake disobeys his dad's orders and sneaks out to attend a rock concert.

The Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room

After Alan gets in a fight with Charlie over a decorative bowl, Alan and Jake move in with Alan's mom.

Is There a Mrs. Waffles?

Charlie discovers that being a children's singer means making lots of money and picking up single moms. But he also discovers that he's going to have to overcome his fear of performing in front of large audiences.

Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids

Charlie ignores his future step-father's advice and gets involved with his daughter, and he learns the hard way that he should have heeded the warning.

Kinda Like Necrophilia

Alan finds out that Charlie stole his girlfriend in high school, so he sets out to even the score.

Meander to Your Dander

Alan's latest relationship has grown stale, so he turns to Charlie for advice about how to break up with her.

A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh

Charlie is suffering from a bad cold, and Rose suddenly and mysteriously resurfaces to "take care of him." So why isn't Charlie getting any better?

The Soil is Moist

Alan sleeps with a woman he and Judith were friends with when they were married, who then tells him that Judith says her new husband is a better lover than him.

Winky-Dink Time

Charlie sets up Alan with a prostitute, and accompanies Jake on a double date.

Rough Night in Hump Junction

Charlie is acting even more promiscuous than normal, which is getting him in trouble with a lot of husbands and boyfriends. With the help of his psychiatrist, he discovers it's related to his ex-fiancée's upcoming wedding.

Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty

Alan helps to plan his mother's wedding, and Charlie makes some moves on the woman who will soon be his stepsister.

Fish in a Drawer

Parody of "CSI" in which a body is found in Charlie's bed, and detectives try to figure out who is the killer.

If My Hole Could Talk

Charlie dates a self-help author who is much older than him, has a 32-year-old son, and treats him more like his son than his boyfriend. Jake tries to write a book report over the weekend, but keeps losing the book before he can read it.

Waiting for the Right Snapper

Alan has a crush on Charlie's new older girlfriend, and Charlie discovers that he dated his girlfriend's son's fiancée. Meanwhile, Alan tries to get Jake to study for his algebra exam.

Staffel 6 - Alle Folgen mit Dennis C. Brown

Taterhead Is Our Love Child

Charlie runs into an ex with a child who looks and acts a lot like him. He begins to suspect that he is the child's father.

Pie Hole, Herb

Charlie kicks Alan out the house again after Alan demands that Charlie pay him back the $38 he owes him. Alan and Jake are now forced to turn to Judith and Herb for a temporary home.

Damn You, Eggs Benedict

Alan tries to date two women at once and Charlie tries to learn how to cook. Jake tells Alan that he's studying with a friend, but he gets drunk instead.

The Flavin' and the Mavin'

Alan is angry when Charlie hooks up with his secretary because he knows that the situation will end badly for him after their inevitable breakup.

A Jock Strap in Hell

Charlie gets more than he bargained for when he tries to make amends to one of Jake's old teachers that he dated, who went off the deep end and became a stripper after he broke up with her.

It's Always Nazi Week

Alan is overjoyed when he learns that Judith and Herb's marriage is on the rocks, but he gets more than he bargained for when he tries to fake-comfort her. Meanwhile, Herb tries picking up women with Charlie's help.

Best H.O. Money Can Buy

Alan and Judith start seeing each other again after Judith's breakup with Herb, Herb continues to turn to Charlie for help picking up women, and Charlie messes with Jake by threatening to get him sent to military school.

Pinocchio's Mouth

Charlie's month-long relationship threatens to go down the tubes when she asks him to spend the night at her house instead, and Alan grounds Jake for mooning some girls on a school bus.

The Mooch at the Boo

Alan realizes what a babe magnet Charlie's car can be, while Charlie is left with the neighbor when his daughter disappears with Jake.

He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited

When Evelyn offers to pay for Jake's college education and a car, Charlie suspects that she has an angle to play.

The Devil's Lube

Charlie contemplates making some changes in his life after an old buddy and partner in crime drops dead on the balcony of his beach house.

Thank God for Scoliosis

Alan considers hooking up with his receptionist--until he meets her mother, and Charlie and Jake fight for the affection of a beautiful woman

I Think You Offended Don

Judith is pregnant, Alan believes he is the father, and Judith tries to keep him away from Herb. Meanwhile, Charlie tries to figure out why Jake is so irritable.

David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie

After his family acts mean-spirited during Alan's "surprise" birthday party, Alan decides he's had enough and moves in with his girlfriend and mom.

I'd Like to Start with the Cat

Charlie's big mouth and lack of attention to details gets him in couples counseling with his girlfriend.

She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime

Charlie needs Alan and Jake's help getting rid of the drunk, half-naked bimbo passed out in his bed when his girlfriend tells him she's coming home early from a funeral.

The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?

Charlie is so desperate to get Chelsea to return his accidental "I love you" and not lose control in the relationship that he is willing to propose to her just to make her say it.

My Son's Enormous Head

Charlie has trouble trying to take care of Chelsea when she gets sick.

The Two Finger Rule

Charlie, Alan and Herb commiserate with each other when their stupid decisions put them on the outs with their significant others.

Hello, I am Alan Cousteau

Charlie is disturbed when his mother meets Chelsea and starts spending time with her, but he has a plan for revenge.

Above Exalted Cyclops

Chelsea sets up Alan with her new "friend" Rose--the same Rose who stalked Charlie for years. But to Charlie's surprise, the two of them hit it off.

Sir Lancelot's Litter Box

Charlie winds up in more hot water with Chelsea because he doesn't want her moving in with her.

Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth

Charlie is angry when Alan and Chelsea become good friends, until he figures out how to use the situation to his advantage.

Baseball Was Better with Steroids

Chelsea is jealous when Charlie's ex fiancé, Mia, calls him--perhaps rightfully so. Meanwhile, Judith goes into labor, Herb is incapacitated, and Alan runs into his ex-girlfriend and receptionist at the hospital.

Staffel 7 - Alle Folgen mit Dennis C. Brown


Chelsea encourages Charlie to help his ex-fiancé Mia launch her music career, but does he still have feelings for her? And what if she's a terrible singer? Meanwhile, Alan wants Charlie to let Melissa move in with him.

Whipped Unto the Third Generation

When Charlie's fiancée, Chelsea, convinces him to let Melissa, Alan's girlfriend, move in, the girls take over the house.

Mmm, Fish. Yum.

Alan is forced to take care of Judith's baby when Judith's mom falls off the wagon, and Jake tries to blackmail Charlie when he runs over Chelsea's cat.

Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator

Alan takes a job with his mom so that he can move out and have alone time with Melissa, and Chelsea is upset about the way that Jake is treating her.

For the Sake of the Child

Jake refuses to stay with Charlie and Alan after they embarrass him in public.

Give Me Your Thumb

Alan suggests that Chelsea get breast reduction surgery and Charlie kicks him out.

Untainted by Filth

After Charlie and Chelsea set their wedding date, Charlie and Alan go out and get drunk and wake up in bed together with a strange woman.

Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.

Charlie invites Chelsea's sexy friend to stay at his place while she gets over a breakup, secretly hoping that he will get a chance to have kinky three-way sex.

Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair

Charlie is crushed when he discovers he hasn't been satisfying Chelsea and Alan attempts to cure his thinning hair on the cheap.

That's Why They Call It Ball Room

Charlie discovers that Chelsea hasn't been completely honest about her finances.

Warning, It's Dirty

Against Alan's wishes, Charlie encourages Jake to hook up with a pretty girl he met on the beach since Jake's girlfriend is out of town for Christmas.

Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste

Jake writes love songs to woo his ex-girlfriend, and Herb and Alan hide their secret friendship from Judith's watchful eye.

Yay, No Polyps

Charlie endures a colonoscopy to get out of a trip to see Chelsea's bigoted parents, only to return home and find them in his living room.

Crude and Uncalled For

Alan ends up in jail after a bar fight, and Charlie worries that Chelsea might be interested in the lawyer who takes the case.

Aye, Aye, Captain

When Charlie's jealousy threatens his relationship with Chelsea, he turns to Alan for help in becoming a better person. But will he be able to pull it off?

Tinkle Like a Princess

Charlie reacts to his breakup with Chelsea by taking the first tramp that he sees and marrying her in Las Vegas.

I Found Your Moustache

Charlie and Chelsea get back together for one night, which leaves Charlie mistakenly believing that they are back for good.

Ixnay on the Oggie Day

Charlie hooks up with Chelsea's best friends, which could cause problems when Chelsea wants to get back together. Meanwhile, Alan is paid handsomely by a chiropractic patient who wants a different kind of adjustment.

Keith Moon Is Vomiting in his Grave

Alan dates the mom of one of Jake's friends instead of telling her that her son and Jake went out drinking, but Charlie surprisingly does not approve of his actions.

I Called Him Magoo

Alan's plan for a romantic overnight getaway with his girlfriend hits an unexpected snag, while Charlie has an unusual request for his overnight companion.

Gumby with a Pokey

While Alan and Jake go to Sacramento to pick up a grandfather clock, Charlie gets a prescription for medical marijuana to help him sleep and forget about Chelsea.

This Is Not Gonna End Well

Jake becomes Charlie's driver after Charlie has his license suspended, and to Charlie's chagrin, Alan makes plans to attend Chelsea's birthday party.

Staffel 8 - Alle Folgen mit Dennis C. Brown

Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud

Alan unsuccessfully tries to keep Jake from finding out that he's sleeping with his friend Eldridge's mom, while Charlie contemplates giving up drinking after an unusually wild night he can't remember.

A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer

When Lindsey asks Alan to move in with her, Charlie will do anything to get Alan to say "yes."

A Pudding-Filled Cactus

Alan moves in with Lyndsey but continues to have a rendezvous with Melissa at Charlie's house.

Hookers, Hookers, Hookers

Lyndsey and Eldridge move into Charlie's house after Alan burns down their home.

The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel

Alan Goes out on the town pretending to be Charlie, while Charlie sneaks off for some cosmetic surgery.

Twanging Your Magic Clanger

Charlie has second thoughts about the woman he's dating when he discovers she's 47, but his attitude suddenly changes when he discovers she has a sexy, bisexual, 20-year-old daughter.

The Crazy Bitch Gazette

Charlie's past comes back to bite him when his girlfriend decides that his stalker, Rose, is just too much to handle.

Springtime on a Stick

Jake gets Alan to invite Evelyn to Charlie's house for her birthday dinner to get revenge for Charlie ruining his chances with a classmate, and Alan and Charlie get Charlie's pharmacist to come along as Evelyn's date.

A Good Time in Central Africa

Charlie gets a replacement housekeeper who is perfect while Berta is out for the weekend, and Lyndsey's ex-husband begins scaring Alan when Alan and Lyndsey begin dating again.

Ow, Ow, Don't Stop

Charlie goes on a spending spree for his old fling, Courtney, who shows up after three years in prison for conning him out of money.

Dead from the Waist Down

Alan is ashamed that he can't afford to buy Lyndsey a birthday present, so he gets creative.

Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead

When Charlie and Courtney break up, Charlie falls into a depression and goes to see his psychiatrist.

Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup

When Charlie and Lyndsey start becoming friendly, Alan's paranoia gets the best of him.

Lookin' for Japanese Subs

Charlie continues to obsess over Rose--whom he thinks is married--after running into her at the store, and Jake and Eldrige begin recording their own "Jackass" rip-off.

Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak

Alan's efforts to ask family for money to help promote his struggling chiropractic business turns into a Ponzi scheme, and Charlie continues to see Rose, still completely unaware that her "husband" is actually a mannequin.

That Darn Priest

Rose becomes wise to Alan's Ponzi scheme and threatens to tell his family--until Alan discovers the truth about Rose's "husband."

Staffel 9 - Alle Folgen mit Dennis C. Brown

Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt

Charlie hat in Paris den Tod gefunden - woran Rose nicht ganz unschuldig ist. Nun findet in seiner Villa in Malibu die Beerdigung statt. Neben seiner Familie sind auch alle seine Ex-Frauen da, was Alan jede Menge arbeitet bereitet. Zumal aus dem Meer später auch noch Walden Schmidt auftaucht. Der Internetmilliardär wollte sich im Meer am Strand von Malibu das Leben nehmen. Allerdings war ihm das Wasser dann zu kalt. Nun landet er geradewegs im zum Verkauf stehenden Haus von Charlie, in welchem noch Alan und Jake wohnen. Allerdings könnten sie sich das Haus alleine nicht leisten.

People Who Love Peepholes

Walden buys Charlie's house and hires Berta as his live-in housekeeper, forcing Alan to move back in with his mom. However, Alan sees an opportunity to come back when Walden asks for advice about getting his wife back.

Big Girls Don't Throw Food

While preparing for a romantic dinner with his wife, Walden accidentally talks Jake into dropping out of school.

Nine Magic Fingers

Alan begins working on getting Lyndsey back, but his days at Walden's place may be numbered after Walden hooks up with Charlie's gold-digger ex girlfriend, Courtney.

A Giant Cat Holding a Churro

Lyndsey dumps Alan after he agrees to be completely honest about his past, and a stoned Walden tries to cheer him up by throwing him a party.

The Squat and the Hover

Alan convinces Walden to see Charlie's old shrink after he gets his divorce papers from Bridget, but his spirits are soon lifted after he meets a lesbian who looks like her.

Those Fancy Japanese Toilets

Walden hires Evelyn as his interior decorator, but Alan is convinced that she just wants to take advantage of him sexually. Meanwhile, Alan inherits Charlie's journal, and Jake has a crush on his tutor, but she has a crush on Walden.

Thank You for the Intercourse

Still emotional after Charlie's death and jealous over Walden's ability to pick up hot single women, Alan takes a break from reality and channels his inner Charlie.

Frodo's Headshots

Upon his return from the "stress clinic," Alan finds out that Jake got his girlfriend pregnant, Walden and Lyndsey are sleeping together, and he has to move out immediately.

A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes

After Jake talks Walden into asking out a woman he meets at a supermarket, Alan considers hocking Walden's incredibly expensive wedding ring to get out of debt.

What a Lovely Landing Strip

Just as Walden appears ready to pursue a new relationship with Zoe, Bridget returns and says that she wants him back.

One False Move, Zimbabwe!

Walden's mother arrives for Christmas and Alan is smitten with her, even as she reveals a secret about a "pet" from Walden's past that sends him into a downward spiral.

Slowly and in a Circular Fashion

When Bridget and Walden's mother try to take control of Walden's company, Walden puts Alan on the board. But can he be trusted once Walden's mother gets to him?

A Possum on Chemo

While Zoe pressures Walden into shaving and cutting his hair, Alan discovers that Lyndsey is dating a younger man.

The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack

Walden looks for ways to spice up his lackluster love life with Zoe, including a batch of Berta's "special" brownies.

Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy

Alan and Walden are stuck at home with their feuding girlfriends on Valentine's Day because of a torrential storm.

Not in My Mouth!

When Zoe doesn't return his "I love you," Walden retaliates by immediately picking up on another woman.

The War Against Gingivitis

Walden's estranged ex-business partner comes to him with a billion-dollar business idea, and another secret or two.

Palmdale, Ech

Alan and Lyndsey introduce their mothers to each other, while Walden spends the night hanging out with Jake and Eldrige since Zoe is still out of town.

Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'

Walden's commitment is tested when Zoey and her daughter come to live with him. Meanwhile, Alan gets more than he bargained for when he moves in with Lyndsey.

Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!

Jake and Eldridge make an important decision about their future after they graduate from high school and get fired from their jobs at Walden's new company.

Staffel 10 - Alle Folgen mit Dennis C. Brown

I Changed My Mind About the Milk

Walden weighs his options after his elaborate marriage proposal featuring fireworks and Michael Bolton fails.

A Big Bag of Dog

While Alan becomes obsessed with off-brand teeth whitening, Walden begins to crack up over his breakup with Zoe.

You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For

Walden is conflicted when a friend's hot daughter comes to visit, but the problem solves itself when Jake arrives for a surprise visit.

That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam

After a series of bad double date setups with Alan and Lyndsey, Walden meets a new woman--Charlie's ex, Rose.

Give Santa a Tail-Hole

While Walden takes a job as a Christmas tree salesman as part of his ruse, he gets a billion dollar business proposal from Mark Zuckerberg. Meanwhile, Alan finds himself completely alone at the beach house for the holidays.

Welcome to Alancrest

While Walden's health and other bedroom issues begin to suffer as a result of living a lie, he gives Alan 100,000 dollars to "invest" in Kate's fashion line.

Grab a Feather and Get in Line

Walden and Alan fly to New York City so that Walden can finally reveal his true identity to Kate.

The 9:04 from Pemberton

After Alan and Walden fight over a toaster, Alan moves out and goes back to his old house to live with Herb.

Big Episode: Someone Stole a Spoon

Alan and Walden take Herb out to take his mind off of his troubles, but his partying quickly spirals out of control.

Bazinga! That's From a TV Show

Tammy comes after Jake after he cheats on her with her 18 year old daughter.

Another Night with Neil Diamond

Alan is crushed when Lyndsey dumps him and immediately starts dating a new man, and Walden is crushed because he is now completely stuck with Alan--again.

My Bodacious Vidalia

Walden treats Alan to an image makeover, and he attracts a married woman with a much older husband who cannot satisfy her in bed.

Staffel 11 - Alle Folgen mit Dennis C. Brown


Walden is forced to deal with two freeloading Harpers when Charlie's daughter that nobody knew he had arrives at the beach house.

I Think I Banged Lucille Ball

Charlie's daughter Jenny moves in with Evelyn and her 91 1/2 year old boyfriend, and Lyndsey cheats on her new boyfriend with Alan.

This Unblessed Biscuit

Berta is injured on the job, and after getting in an argument with Walden over retirement, she decides to quit.

Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank

Walden makes a big mistake while partying with Jenny and her friends, and Alan has to make a big sacrifice to keep up appearances with Lyndsey.

Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003

Alan's jealousy over being the "other man" causes him to spy on Lyndsey's boyfriend, and Walden tries to get Jenny started with acting lessons.

Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants

Alan begs Walden to set him up with an old family friend, "Wonder Woman" TV star Lynda Carter.

Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.

A private investigator tells Lyndsey's boyfriend that she is cheating on him with Walden, and Rose tries to help keep Walden out of danger.

Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer

Walden has a date with an injury-prone model, and Alan sleeps with a woman who then reveals that she used to be a man.

On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!

Walden helps Jenny get a second date with a woman who is blowing her off, and Alan is propositioned by his new girlfriend's ex.

Tazed in the Lady Nuts

Walden is hired by a former employee he fired to write code for a new project, and Alan suffers an unfortunate tick bite while hiking with Jenny and her girlfriend.

Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.

Alan lets Lyndsey's boyfriend Larry set him up on a date, while Walden offers to help Nicole with her software project, so that she will have the time to date him.

Bite Me, Supreme Court

Marty proposes to Evelyn, and she accepts. But after Alan and Walden throw Marty a bachelor party, he abruptly calls off the wedding.

Three Fingers of Crème de Menthe

After Alan learns that Lyndsey broke up with Larry and didn't tell him, he makes a big decision. Meanwhile, Walden sets out to prove that he's a man's man.

Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin

Alan turns to Judith for comfort after Lyndsey accepts Larry's marriage proposal, and Jenny is worried that Brooke is blowing her off.

How to Get Rid of Alan Harper

Alan takes an interest in Larry's sister after "Jeff Strongman" agrees to be his best man, and Walden is concerned about his relationship with Nicole.

Welcome Home, Jake

Lyndsey discovers that Alan is sleeping with Larry's sister, Gretchen. Meanwhile, Walden finds it difficult with telling Barry to find his own place.

West Side Story

Walden's reunion with his ex-girlfriend Kate does not go as planned, and Alan takes Gretchen over to "his apartment."

Lan mao shi zai wuding shang

Just as Walden is considering proposing to Kate, he falls for a random stranger who arrives at his beach house. Meanwhile, Gretchen discovers that Alan's "Jeff Strongman" persona is a lie.

Lotta Delis in Little Armenia

Walden's therapist tells him to have plenty of random casual sex to help get over falling in love too quickly, and Alan's new business venture provides him with the perfect opportunity.

Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot

Walden goes to Colorado with Jenny and Barry after he finds his first car. Meanwhile, Alan loses Gretchen after he considers telling Larry the truth about "Jeff Strongman."

Oh WALD-E, Good Times Ahead

When Alan and Gretchen get engaged and Larry calls off the wedding, Lyndsey goes off the deep end. Meanwhile, Walden creates a smart-aleck robot.

Staffel 12 - Alle Folgen mit Dennis C. Brown

The Ol' Mexican Spinach

When Walden has a health scare on Halloween, he tries to re-prioritize his life with the help of Alan.

A Chic Bar in Ibiza

Alan has second thoughts about getting married when Walden has him sign a prenup.

Glamping in a Yurt

Alan and Walden must be perceived as a loving couple during a meeting with an adoption social worker. However, Lyndsey returns from rehab and makes their plans more difficult.

Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight

After the social worker signs off on them, a prospective birth mother visits Walden and Alan.

Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.

Walden looks after a foster child named Louis,but they don't bond the way he hoped they would.

Alan Shot a Little Girl

Much to Walden's frustration, Louie successfully manipulates Alan, who cannot resist the opportunity to finally get to become the cool parent.

Sex with an Animated Ed Asner

Walden and Alan befriend a group of sexy single moms while taking Louie out to play, which makes it even more difficult to keep up their charade.

Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey

Walden hopes to create the perfect Christmas experience for Louie, who has lost his faith in Christmas. But Santa, Alan's mom Evelyn, and Alan's cheapness threaten to ruin everything.

Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey

Walden and Laurel set up a playdate for their kids so they can pick up where they left off the last time they got together. Meanwhile, Herb asks Alan if he can ask Lyndsey out.

Here I Come, Pants!

When Ms. McMartin discovers that Walden and Alan are pretending to be gay, she threatens to take Louis away. However, Alan has a plan to help her change her mind.

For Whom the Booty Calls

When Walden joins a support group for adoptive fathers, he discovers that it is a nice getaway from Alan.

A Beer-Battered Rip-Off

Walden worries that Louis' adoption will be impacted when Alan breaks up with their social worker.

Boompa Loved His Hookers

Walden discovers that Ms. McMartin is crazy and needy after they hook up, but he doesn't want to break up with her and mess up the adoption. Meanwhile, Lyndsey asks Alan to move in with her.

Don't Give a Monkey a Gun

When their divorce becomes official, Walden offers Alan a gift. Alan's impractical choice strains his relationship with Lindsay.

Of Course He's Dead: Part 1 & 2

Alan begins to suspect that Charlie is still alive, which is confirmed when he receives a threatening package and Rose tells the truth.

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